So fellow authors is there anything worse than looking in that email box every five minutes waiting to see if you get offered a contract. Waking every hour of the night just to check because you know they are on a different time zone and your night is there day and you couldn't possibly wait till morning to find out. And you plead for sanity to return , hating the damn email account, and hating the refresh button even more.
I am finding myself in that position again, the waiting game and its one that I hate to play. This time seems so much worse than the first time, I guess now I have had a taste of success I want it to continue. So why would I put myself through this again...because I love what I do. The versatility suits my life style, sometimes I write through the night, or it could be in the back of the car, perhaps the library or it could be on the other side of the world sitting on my friends porch enjoying the North Carolina sunshine...oh yes I love being a writer.
How many jobs could you have where you can say your talents are so wildly focused historian, researcher, psychologist, sex expert, typist, geologist,and the list goes on and on...what a clever lot we are!
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Dilys J Carnie Contemporary Romance Author : Destiny and choosing the right path!
Dilys J Carnie Contemporary Romance Author : Destiny and choosing the right path!: Fate? Do you ever think that you're life is determined by which road you take at a certain point in you're life. How many times do you ge...
Destiny and choosing the right path!
Fate?
Do you ever think that you're life is determined by which road you take at a certain point in you're life.
How many times do you get the chance to choose?
Our life's are defined by our choices and what we are willing to accept. I think we all have an equal chance at choosing. Some would say that the past has stopped them from being able to choose, that they haven't been fortuitous enough to decide what is best for them. I think that we all have to take responsibility for our own destinies, at some point we have to decide what is right for us and only we as an individuals can decide..
Life is a continues lesson of learning, loving and humility and those guide lines have stood me well.
Every breath we take is a miracle and I firmly believe that it is a gift of life that should be cherished and nurtured after all we never know what is around the corner.
Life is a struggle there is no denying that,and living with a past that haunts you can be consuming but when you finally are at ease with you're life a calming influence eases over you and at last you can finally breath out and say I struggled with it, I lived it and I survived it .
The reason I am feeling so philosophical is that on October 30th it will be four years since my dad passed away. He had cancer and this is what I wrote a year after he died and it started my writing career again and subsequent publishing contract I signed last June for my book 'Her Passionate Protector' coming out in November 2012.
Do you ever think that you're life is determined by which road you take at a certain point in you're life.
How many times do you get the chance to choose?
Our life's are defined by our choices and what we are willing to accept. I think we all have an equal chance at choosing. Some would say that the past has stopped them from being able to choose, that they haven't been fortuitous enough to decide what is best for them. I think that we all have to take responsibility for our own destinies, at some point we have to decide what is right for us and only we as an individuals can decide..
Life is a continues lesson of learning, loving and humility and those guide lines have stood me well.
Every breath we take is a miracle and I firmly believe that it is a gift of life that should be cherished and nurtured after all we never know what is around the corner.
Life is a struggle there is no denying that,and living with a past that haunts you can be consuming but when you finally are at ease with you're life a calming influence eases over you and at last you can finally breath out and say I struggled with it, I lived it and I survived it .
The reason I am feeling so philosophical is that on October 30th it will be four years since my dad passed away. He had cancer and this is what I wrote a year after he died and it started my writing career again and subsequent publishing contract I signed last June for my book 'Her Passionate Protector' coming out in November 2012.
As I
sat by the bed of a dying man, my mind went back to happier days.
Those days filled with laughter and fun. How could a short time make such a
difference, how could life change so rapidly. It would be a long night, I didn't want
to leave him, didn't want him to die on his own.
Scottish to the core, he had lived on Anglesey for thirty six
years, this was his home, and this Island had
been his way of life. Finally settling in Llangefni an old market town that had
lost its center almost portraying a ghost town. From the days when
it had been bustling with business full of people and shoppers. Now
most of the shops were boarded up.
Looking at the man laying in the bed, a shell of his former
self, it broke my heart as I remembered the fun times we had as well as the
bad. It had always been a tumultuous relationship, full of more downs than ups.
As the wind and rain lashed against the bedroom window,
I watched the large tree sway from side to side, dropping the crumpled autumn leaves to the ground all the life and colour ravaged by the fierceness of the wind a sign of the impending winter, Sighing my gazed returned to the small frail body lying in the large bed.
Eyes closed, mouth thin, suddenly I realized how old he looked. His lips were
dry from the oxygen that he now needed to breathe, his chest was struggling to cope
with the heaviness of his breathing. It was only a matter of time and I knew
that his life was slowly ebbing away, there was nothing I could do to
stop it, even trying to make him comfortable was becoming increasingly
difficult as he became more embedded in his illness.
Is this what life does to you? We are born, we live, and we
die. Is it the bit in-between that counts? It passes so quickly, how can you be
sure that everything you dream about becomes reality? You can't.
I look at the body ,pale against the blue sheets, here is a
person who has organized his own funeral, picked out the clothes that they want
to be buried in ,spoke endlessly about all the things they haven’t been able to
do. Our discussion this morning was about after life. Its strange how knowing
that you are going to die changes the way in which you think, the fear of the
un-known makes you want to believe in something even if you can’t see it. My
dad asked me if I believed in there being something else after death. And I
looked at him and said that I did and to
my astonishment this made an impression on him.He had never even voiced his
thoughts of what he thought was going to happen afterwards and there was
a smile of relief as it finally embedded in his mind that there would be somewhere
else to go when he was finished here ,somewhere he would feel at amity with
himself. No loneliness, just peace.
Picking up his bony hand I looked at body of the man that was now
a ghost of his former self I smoothed my thumb against his paper thin skin, his
eyes flickered and a small smile appeared as he gripped my hand, his blue eyes
pale, his pupils enlarged as he struggled to get his breath. I felt like he
was apologizing for all the fights we had, all the disagreements all
the un-spoken words between us. Encasing his hand in mine, I wrapped my
fingers around his and smiled, leaning my elbows on the bed so that I could get
closer. The verve slowly leaving those once vibrant blue eyes I waited for the
struggling breath noises to stop as I watched the existence that was his life
leave his body .The silence of the room filled me with the deepest agony as I
realised this person who had been part of me for all of my forty seven years
was gone. Tears ran down my face as I grieved for the loss, the emptiness that
surrounded me was excruciatingly painful. Putting his still warm hand to my
face I kissed it for the last time.
Laying the red rose on the coffin he chose himself, I watched
as it disappeared behind the curtain, as I say goodbye to my dad.
He was seventy seven years young and I never remember a time
when he wasn't fit and healthy. The dreaded cancer struck him down, and little
by little it ebbed away at his life. Slowly and painfully I watched him, cancer
concise in its life taking abilities. I wouldn't have said he was a wonderful
dad because it would have been a lie. I wouldn’t say he had always been there
for me because it would have been a lie. Would I say he was the best dad in the
world, no, but he was my dad and I loved him more than words could say. I miss him,
miss the joking and the laughing. I miss the friendship we had at the end after
such a tumultuous relationship of more downs than up’s. He was courageous, he
organised his own funeral, even down to what clothes and shoes he was going to
wear, making sure his shoes were as shiny as a pin. That gave me admiration for
a man that I had constantly battled with for a life time.
You are constantly with me dad, I hope you are at peace as I
am.
Miss you and love you. Dil x
Life is short and now as I get ready to visit his grave I
wish he was here to see my success as a writer, I know he would have been proud
and I know now that I forgive him .
Forgiveness is something that we should all carry in our
hearts because I truly think it makes us better people.
Stress Relief
As I finally sit down with a glass of nice cold Kiwi Cuvee I wonder where does it say anywhere that when you prepare and cook a large roast dinner that you also have to clear away and stack all the dishes in the dishwasher? *raises eyebrows* No where, but never the less they all get up from the table with what seems to be no guilt what so ever and I sit there and think what the... Evidently they think that it is my place to do it So a lesson to all you young mums out there, make sure you teach your children and husbands that you are not there to clean, cook and be general dogs body to all who pass through!!!
Going to the gym is my stress release and I love it. I will
spend at least three days a week and as much as five if I am really stressed.
My old bones need that extra kick up the ass to keep them from giving up
entirely. Cardio makes my lungs feel like they are going to collapse at any
given moment. My butt which seems to be gravitating south invariably gets cramp
and at the end of it my legs almost give up completely. The only thing that
stops me from caving in is my Pilates and I relax and stretch those tense
muscles until I am almost slithering into the shower at the end of it.
Another six thousand words written today, yesterday was spent researching and getting my story board up and ready for this new book. Thank goodness my board stands tall (three feet) because there is a lot of research going into this next story. The best part about putting a book together is finally putting the idea you have on to paper and watching it grow into something that for three months becomes part of your life where you eat , drink, and think nothing but scenes and paragraphs I even lie in bed going over in my mind the day's writing and I have been known to get up at 2am( quite frequently) to change a scene or add some more words to the days count.I love to write at night, there is something about working through the night, no phone, no one shouting for me to do lunch or make coffee.
Put a smile on someone's face!
You know there's nothing in this world like the smile on someones face when you give them a an unexpected present, I'm addicted to it. I am one of those people who genuinely loves to by gifts...not to receive back but just to see the pleasure from the recipients face. I remember a Christmas family party I gave and I organised wrapped presents for all the children to be delivered by Santa Claus ( am I aloud to say his name?? I don't care if I'm not! ) the absolute excitement and pleasure on there face's was priceless and unforgettable.
I have decided that I will be having another party this year to celebrate my signing a publishing contract and because I want to. I am busily now trying to decide on all the little gifts I am going to present to everyone, most of my nieces and nephews are older now and don't believe in Santa...but they still like to get gifts and I still might get Santa himself to deliver them...I know the big man, he is on my iPhone contacts...lol And I rather fancy a sit on his lap !
Everyone has to dress up it's my only stipulation.
Happy today because I have finished my second book, I'm just waiting for my editor to come back of her holidays and it will be winging its way into her email box. Giving myself tomorrow off and then its back to the grindstone with book three...I love my job!
Hoping to see the cover of my first book'Her Passionate Protector' (due out in November) sometime in the next few weeks... I'm very excited to see my name on the cover of a book that I wrote, its so surreal.
Autumn has arrived, the leaves are falling, the new autumnal colour's are exquisite. It's time to burn those delicious cinnamon candles, wear warm sweaters and breathe the fresh crispy air...I love it! Its time for me to make my Christmas cake, for the last twenty six years I have always made my own but since my dad died I stopped doing it, he died four years ago (October 30th) and it was the strangest transformation for me I changed and the way I did things changed me...for the better.
I have decided that I will be having another party this year to celebrate my signing a publishing contract and because I want to. I am busily now trying to decide on all the little gifts I am going to present to everyone, most of my nieces and nephews are older now and don't believe in Santa...but they still like to get gifts and I still might get Santa himself to deliver them...I know the big man, he is on my iPhone contacts...lol And I rather fancy a sit on his lap !
Everyone has to dress up it's my only stipulation.
Happy today because I have finished my second book, I'm just waiting for my editor to come back of her holidays and it will be winging its way into her email box. Giving myself tomorrow off and then its back to the grindstone with book three...I love my job!
Hoping to see the cover of my first book'Her Passionate Protector' (due out in November) sometime in the next few weeks... I'm very excited to see my name on the cover of a book that I wrote, its so surreal.
Autumn has arrived, the leaves are falling, the new autumnal colour's are exquisite. It's time to burn those delicious cinnamon candles, wear warm sweaters and breathe the fresh crispy air...I love it! Its time for me to make my Christmas cake, for the last twenty six years I have always made my own but since my dad died I stopped doing it, he died four years ago (October 30th) and it was the strangest transformation for me I changed and the way I did things changed me...for the better.
Dilys J Carnie Contemporary Romance Author : Dilys J Carnie Contemporary Romance Author : Life ...
Dilys J Carnie Contemporary Romance Author : Dilys J Carnie Contemporary Romance Author : Life ...: Dilys J Carnie Contemporary Romance Author : Life Is Just To Damn Short : I am reminded today how precious life is as a friend of my husband...
Dilys J Carnie Contemporary Romance Author : Life Is Just To Damn Short
Dilys J Carnie Contemporary Romance Author : Life Is Just To Damn Short: I am reminded today how precious life is as a friend of my husband's looses her fight with cancer leaving behind a young daughter , a husban...
Life Is Just Too Damn Short
Tuesday, 18
September 2012
I am reminded today
how precious life is a friend of my husband's loses her fight with cancer
leaving behind a young daughter, a spouse, family,
and many friends...How sad for a young girl to grow up without the pleasure of
knowing her mother and how precious she was.
We wake up every morning thinking that life is just one long continuation of minutes, days, months, years without even a thought of how precious every one of those seconds is. Routine takes over, and we become so engrossed in becoming super-mums or super-dads that the only thing missing from our wardrobes are our red capes.
I've been there and been the mom who does everything, convinced that everyone needs me, and no one can survive without me but as is said above for that poor mom who lost her young life to a disease that is soul destroying to the ones left behind.life is just too damn short. We are on this planet for such a short time, some longer than others, and in the daily lives of surviving day to day we sometimes forget that it isn't our right to wake up every morning it’s a gift.
We wake up every morning thinking that life is just one long continuation of minutes, days, months, years without even a thought of how precious every one of those seconds is. Routine takes over, and we become so engrossed in becoming super-mums or super-dads that the only thing missing from our wardrobes are our red capes.
I've been there and been the mom who does everything, convinced that everyone needs me, and no one can survive without me but as is said above for that poor mom who lost her young life to a disease that is soul destroying to the ones left behind.life is just too damn short. We are on this planet for such a short time, some longer than others, and in the daily lives of surviving day to day we sometimes forget that it isn't our right to wake up every morning it’s a gift.
Frustrations!!
Why is is that dogs love to chase post men/woman? Is it the uniform? Do they have a scent that dogs just don't like? Who knows, but my dog Jim is a little Jack Russel and he hates the post man, quite honestly it's a fight as to who gets to the post box first. Jim sits by the window all day if need be and just waits...and waits...and waits. Our post man is terrified of him, possibly that might be because Jim chased him through the village and the post man only made it back to his van by the skin of his teeth. Today he managed to get to the post box before me and totally ripped my new Nora Roberts book to pieces, he is now in the 'dog house'!!!
Okay what's the deal with flat pack furniture?
It says you need one person to put it together when quite clearly one would never be enough to hold all the bits and pieces together. It's so frustrating, in the end I had some sort of scaffolding underneath everything to hold it up and something that was only meant to take twenty minutes took me nearly an hour and a half. Now does that give the indication that I'm just stupid or the person who designed it needs brain surgery ??
I am now opening a bottle of Lindeman's Cabernet Sauvignon and letting it breath and get to the correct temperature before I pure myself a large glass of this delicious Chilean wine. It's a gorgeous ruby red in colour with subtle hints of oak embraced with dark berry fruits and big juicy plums. The aroma is distinctively fruity but not sweet.
I think a dvd is in order and some chocolate to finish of an extremely frustrating day and the dvd is going to be 'Nights In Rodanthe' and I'm excited to watch this because I have visited where they filmed this movie and I'm keen to see how much different the movie is as opposed to the book. Nicholas Sparks actually lives in North Carolina where I have been holidaying for the last two years where I have been three times.
Despite my day I have managed to write another three and a half thousand words which was a miracle in it's self!!
Okay what's the deal with flat pack furniture?
It says you need one person to put it together when quite clearly one would never be enough to hold all the bits and pieces together. It's so frustrating, in the end I had some sort of scaffolding underneath everything to hold it up and something that was only meant to take twenty minutes took me nearly an hour and a half. Now does that give the indication that I'm just stupid or the person who designed it needs brain surgery ??
I am now opening a bottle of Lindeman's Cabernet Sauvignon and letting it breath and get to the correct temperature before I pure myself a large glass of this delicious Chilean wine. It's a gorgeous ruby red in colour with subtle hints of oak embraced with dark berry fruits and big juicy plums. The aroma is distinctively fruity but not sweet.
I think a dvd is in order and some chocolate to finish of an extremely frustrating day and the dvd is going to be 'Nights In Rodanthe' and I'm excited to watch this because I have visited where they filmed this movie and I'm keen to see how much different the movie is as opposed to the book. Nicholas Sparks actually lives in North Carolina where I have been holidaying for the last two years where I have been three times.
Despite my day I have managed to write another three and a half thousand words which was a miracle in it's self!!
Dilys J Carnie: Welcome!
Dilys J Carnie: Welcome!: Welcome to my blog! I am a Contemporary Romance Author who has recently signed a contract with Secret Cravings Publishing and this blog wi...
Dilys J Carnie: My body is here but my mind is on the beach !!
Dilys J Carnie: My body is here but my mind is on the beach !!: The nights are now drawing in and Autumn is upon us,the tree's are starting to loose there leaves as they fall crumpled and dead to the grou...
Multi-tasking!!
Okay so today I went to the gym which I do most days, I love to do Pilates and cardio, my favotite apparatus at the moment is the cross trainer...wow does that machine make you work hard.My usually tidy hair looked like a birds nest on a bad day, my make-up( okay I hear you all...makeup in the gym? I'm vain and I don't apologies for it) disintegrated into streaks that looked like the three lanes on the M6 motorway. However I came away smiling knowing that the chocolate fudge flapjack I had this morning was well and truly obliterated from my ass.
The never ending pile of laundry was waiting for me and while switching on my laptop in my office I set to it, also making a large pot of coffee and a very guilt free smoothie...I am so good at the multi-tasking, but aren't all woman? Why is it that men can only do one thing at a time? What is with that, if you ask them to do one thing, they can't talk, or be involved in any other task except what they have been asked to do and personally I find it easier to just do the job myself...I'm a very self contained kinda 'girl' (I'm a woman, I keep forgetting that half a century has passed me by) I laugh some what at the thought of being that old. I seem to have done more with my life over the past ten years than when I was younger and had the time and no responsibilities...life is strange!!
My dog Lucy has been poorly today, she has good and bad days. A couple of years ago I found out that she had major back problems and had to have lots of treatment which involved hydrotherapy and she got a little better but it has returned with a vengeance and I have had to book more treatments in the vets pool. Not only that she is going blind...my poor lou lou she has suffered somewhat through out her short life of eight years, but I keep plodding on with her and giving her the best treatment I can.
So I have typed six thousand words today and my second book is coming on nicely, this will be part of a four book series about four brothers. I love to read books that come in a series so writing one just seemed like a natural progression in my writing career. And so another day has ended,September already where does the time go??
The never ending pile of laundry was waiting for me and while switching on my laptop in my office I set to it, also making a large pot of coffee and a very guilt free smoothie...I am so good at the multi-tasking, but aren't all woman? Why is it that men can only do one thing at a time? What is with that, if you ask them to do one thing, they can't talk, or be involved in any other task except what they have been asked to do and personally I find it easier to just do the job myself...I'm a very self contained kinda 'girl' (I'm a woman, I keep forgetting that half a century has passed me by) I laugh some what at the thought of being that old. I seem to have done more with my life over the past ten years than when I was younger and had the time and no responsibilities...life is strange!!
My dog Lucy has been poorly today, she has good and bad days. A couple of years ago I found out that she had major back problems and had to have lots of treatment which involved hydrotherapy and she got a little better but it has returned with a vengeance and I have had to book more treatments in the vets pool. Not only that she is going blind...my poor lou lou she has suffered somewhat through out her short life of eight years, but I keep plodding on with her and giving her the best treatment I can.
So I have typed six thousand words today and my second book is coming on nicely, this will be part of a four book series about four brothers. I love to read books that come in a series so writing one just seemed like a natural progression in my writing career. And so another day has ended,September already where does the time go??
Chesapeake...U.S.A Beautiful !!
Okay so I just recently came back from a six week stay in America...North Carolina to be exact.
And I can tell you...it was hot !!
Boy, even the sand was hot enough to cook my feet. However the inspiration for my second book came from a beautiful place called Chesapeake...and I sigh as I say that name. The blue waters of the bay gently lapping in the soft gentle breeze lulled me into an idea for my next book. Four brothers, a ranch and complexities to turn there lives inside out by four woman, strong and weak, beautiful and wounded, cold and loving. Out came my pad and pencil as I jotted down pertinent research for these four books. Ah...life is hard !!
Off course as I finish each book and start another I need to go back and research some more...some would say it was an excuse to go back to this beautiful place...and you could be right...but I love to write and make up stories that bring not only a smile to my face but I hope to a lot of other people and if I can do it in the surroundings that give me a great deal of pleasure...why not!
As I finish up for the day, my fingers cramping from writing nearly eight thousand words, my eyes are almost closed because they hurt to stay open and my back almost doubled over and I think to myself "are you crazy?" What kind of person puts themselves through that? Well I gotta tell you, I am that crazy person who just loves what they do. And although I go to bed, exhausted, sore and weary I will get up in the morning and start all over again...That's what authors do!!!
And I can tell you...it was hot !!
Boy, even the sand was hot enough to cook my feet. However the inspiration for my second book came from a beautiful place called Chesapeake...and I sigh as I say that name. The blue waters of the bay gently lapping in the soft gentle breeze lulled me into an idea for my next book. Four brothers, a ranch and complexities to turn there lives inside out by four woman, strong and weak, beautiful and wounded, cold and loving. Out came my pad and pencil as I jotted down pertinent research for these four books. Ah...life is hard !!
Off course as I finish each book and start another I need to go back and research some more...some would say it was an excuse to go back to this beautiful place...and you could be right...but I love to write and make up stories that bring not only a smile to my face but I hope to a lot of other people and if I can do it in the surroundings that give me a great deal of pleasure...why not!
As I finish up for the day, my fingers cramping from writing nearly eight thousand words, my eyes are almost closed because they hurt to stay open and my back almost doubled over and I think to myself "are you crazy?" What kind of person puts themselves through that? Well I gotta tell you, I am that crazy person who just loves what they do. And although I go to bed, exhausted, sore and weary I will get up in the morning and start all over again...That's what authors do!!!
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